Funny SMS...

2-4 patthar nhi chaba sakte?

Husband:ALLAH ne tumhein 2 aakhen di hain

chaawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti?

WIFE: ALLAH ne tumhe 32 daant diye hai

2-4 patthar nhi chaba sakte?

 

 

Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain

Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain

Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

 

Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain

Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

 

 

Positive thinking poem

Positive-thinking poem:

 

Little bird in the sky

Droping shit into ur eye

 

U don’t worry u don’t cry,

U just thank God that,

 

Cows do not fly

 

Always b positive

 

 

AAj ke friends I TELL U

AAj ke friends I TELL U,

Kitne busy WHAT DO U DO,

Koi mujhe bole I MISS U,

Koi mujhe bole NO TIME 4 U,

Kash koi mujh se kahy

 

oh my dost/ i am just free 4 u

 

 

Moral of the movie Ghajini…

Moral of the movie Ghajini…

 

Whenever going to meet your girlfriend

Make sure u have your cell phone..

n

when u r in deep trouble

keep your cell phone silent…

 

 

Pappu can’t dance sala :p

Can u dance?

?

?

?

No!

.

.

Sure

.

.

Just try it

.

.

Sure u cant

.

.

That means u r pappu!!!

.

.

Because pappu cant dance ..

 

 

“Bush” replies 2 “Faraz”..

“Bush” replies 2 “Faraz”..

 

Haal to mera b tere jesa he hy “Faraz”,bus farq sirf itna hy . .

Tumhain apno ne lota, Hamain ghairon ne koota

 


Roz roz ka drama nahi hota

2018 is coming

 

Wish u a very

Happy new year

Valentine’s day

Basant

23rd march

14 august

Eid ul fitr

Eid ul azha

Friendship day

Mother, father

Dadi, dada

Nana, nani

Children’s day

Happy b’day

365 good mornings

After noons, evenings’

& nights

 

Roz roz ka drama nahi

Hota mujh se

Ab pura saal mat kehna

SMS nahi kia

 

 

Differentiate wife and mother

Teacher: How Do You Differentiate

“WIFE” & “MOTHER”

 

SARDAR:

Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”

&

After Marriage

We Sleep With Our “WIFE”

 

 

Enjoy Watchng GHAJINI

Sumeone Kills AMIR’S GF

& He Loses His Memory.

Than He Tries To Find out D Killer.

Suspense:AMIR Himself Is D Killer.

Now Enjoy Watchng GHAJINI

 

 

Meant by I Miss you

Teacher: what is meant by

“I MISS YOU”

.

.

Pathan: Is ka matlab hai

“Mein tumhari miss hon!”

 


This is men’s world

When a girl falls down

She is helped by so

Many people

But

When a boy falls down

Everybody laughs

 

When a girl licks

Her lips

She is thirsty

When boy licks

His lips

He is tharki

 

When a girl smiles

She is considered cute

When a boy smiles

He is flirt

 

Still people say

This is men’s world

 

 

Sardar shopping early

Judge: why r u arrested?

Sardar: for shopping early?

Judge: well, that’s not a crime,

anyway how early were u shopping?

 

Sardar: before opening the shop…..:p

 

 

Dream of receiving jewelry & cloths

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream

That u were sending me

Jewelry and clothes!

Husband: yeah, I saw

your dad paying the bill !!!

 

 

Life of a medical student

Life while doing m.b.b.s

1sr yr: yahoo i’m in Medical college

2nd yr: kahan phans Gaya? Help me

3rd yd: severe Migraine, sometimes Pagalpan bhi

4th yr: aah soon it’ll b over

5th yr: finaly it’ll b over

 

House job: i did it

Job : i love myself

 

W8 a min !

Something is missing

.

.

Ohhh !!! Meri “jawani”:(

 


Pani dene se pehle boil…

Doctor: Bachey ko paani

dene se pehle boil ker

lena chahiye …

 

Sardar: Lekin Janab

Boil karne se bacha

marr tou nahi jaye ga…

 


Santa and his wife in office

Santa apni biwi k office gaya

to usne dekha k uski biwi

boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.

 

Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna

jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.

 

 

When girls wear tight fittings

UNIVERSAL TRUTH :

 

When girls wear tight fittings,

Neither they are

Comfortable

 

Nor

 

Boys are comfortable…. !!

 

 

6 things can come at any time

In our life time

6 things can come at any time:

1.love

2.friendship

3.money

4.death

5.illness

-

-

6.susu: isliye karke sona .

 


Oh shitt.. jal gaya

What was GOD’s First Reaction

when he made a Negro(African)?

 

Socho…

 

Dont know..

 

Oh! shit jal gaya!!

 


We will buy new wedding wring

Girlfriend:It’s 2 tight

Boyfriend:Don’t worry,I’ll put it slowly,

 

Girlfriend:Push it in,

Boyfriend:Ah..I can’t,

 

Girlfriend:It’s painful,

Boyfriend:Forget it.

.

.

We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

 


Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?

Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.

Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.

Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

 

 

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket

How is that you can fly so fast?

The Rocket replies you will know the pain

when they put fire at your back!

 


Can we do romance in the midnight today

Can we do romance in the midnight today?

I’m in a good mood:)

Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!

Reply me soon,

yours Loving Mosquito.

 

 

Dabbay main dabba dabay main khargosh

Dabbay main dabba dabay main khargosh,

Uncle nay aankh mari aunty bay-hosh…;):D:D

 

 

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,

Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,

Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,

Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai?

 

 

To the only boy I ever loved!

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?

 

Shopkeeper: How about this card,

it says,”To the only boy I ever loved!”

 

Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

 

 

Couples hold hands during their wedding

Y do couples hold hands during their wedding?

 

It’s a formality just like two boxers

shaking hands before the fight begins!

 

 

How rat proposes a cat;)

How will a rat purpose a cat…??

?

..??

?

“Billo Rani Kaho Tou Abhi Jaan De Doon..

O Billo Rani..!!;-)

 

 

Nobody touches but u feel it

when sum1 touches u

&

u don’t feel it,

its IGNORANCE.

 

When sum1 touches u

&

u feel it, its LOVE.

 

but when nobody touches

u but u feel it, then its KHUJLI;-)

 

 

Too late for garbage

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:

Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

 

Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.

Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

 


Most important source of finance

Commerce professor asks the student:

what is the most important source

of finance for starting business?

 

Student: “Father in law”.

 

 

I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus

with Dad this morning, he told me to

give up my seat to a lady.

 

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

 

 

I just feel u….

I just feel u….

 

Whenever I feel u….

I just miss u …..

Whenever i miss u ….

I just wanna See u ….

Do u know why…….

 

It’s juts because …………

 

******I LOVE CARTOONS*******

 


Solid reason 4 having 2 girlfriends

A Solid reason for having 2 girlfriends at one time:

Monopoly is always damaging

&

Competition improves service!

 

 

SMS on these time

Send me SMS on these time

 

Morning

6am To 12pm

 

Noon

12pm To 4pm

 

Evening

4pm To 8pm

 

Night

8pm To 6am

 

Baki Time Tang Mat Karna

Kam Karna Hota Hai

 

 

Ghori kinnay charhaya

Who let you get on the horse

You witch’s child?

.

.

Can’t understand?

.

.

Tenu ghori kinnay charhaya bhootni k…:p:d

 


Child 2 dentist doctor

Child 2 dentist doctor..!!!

Kya dard k baigar bhi daant nikalay ja saktay hain ??

Dr: nahi

 

Child: ager main nikal k dikhao

Dr: nikaloo

 

Child: he he he he he he

 

 

1 nazar se bhi pyar hota hai

Ek Kana Kisi Ladki Ko Propose Kare

To Konsa Geet Gayega?

?

?

?

?

?

1 Nazar se bhi Pyar Hota Hai,

Maine Suna Hai.

 

 

Only 20% boys have brains.

Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.

So what do the rest have?

.

.

.

They have girl friends:p

 

 

What gift you want for your birthday

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?

 

Son : Not much dad,

just a radio with a sports car around it.

 

 

A love letter from biscuit maker

A love letter from biscuit maker:

Dear marie, today is good day,

u r anmol for me…

but u have crack jacked my heart,

bcoz i have a little heart,

now i m in 50/50 position…

 

 

Khatarnak game

Ek larki dosri se…!!!

Sab se khatarnak game kon sa ha..?

2nd girl;

Har woh game jo boys ke sath khela jaey,

Khass kar andhery main

 

 

What does ILU means?

What does ILU means?

 

I= I

L= Love

U=Urdu

so I love urdu…

tum kya samjhey they…

I love ullu..

to haan mein tum say bhi pyar karta hoon

 

 

1 takleef de skata hon?

A lucknowi nawab meets sardar.

Nawab: Janab kya main apko ek takleef de sakta hoon?

 

Sardar: O kutty hath to laga,

daikh tujhy zalel kese karta hon

 

 

Kaun pagal hoga

Boy:Darling Hamare pyar ke

bare mein kisi ko mat batana.

 

Girl: Sana ko to zaroor bataungi,

kehti thi kaun paagal hoga

jo tujhse pyar karega

 

 

Difference between Husband & gadha

Difference between Husband & gadha.

 

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,

but

Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!

 

 

Why enters in bathroom

Sahab:Tum bathroom mei q ghus aye,

kia tumhain pta nahi tha k main naha raha hoon?

Mulazim:Hazur galti ho gai,

main samjha tha begum sahiba naha rahi hain;-)

 

 

Lips pe infection

Lady: Doctor mere lips pe infection hogaya hai.

Doctor: KISS kitni bar karti ho?

Lady: Saal main 1 baar!

Doctor: Infection nahi “ZANG” lag gaya hai.

 

 

This was a missed call

One day Raja and rani

decided to send messages

to each other by using

Pigeon instead of mobile.

The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message.

He angried and called to rani.

She told stupid “This was a missed call”

 

 

Girls r like phones

Girls are like phones.

We like to be held

and talked too-

but if u press the

wrong button

u’ll be disconnected!

 

 

Can You Define Who Is LECTURER?

Teacher To Student:

 

Can You Define Who Is LECTURER?

 

Student : A LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad

Habit Of Speaking When Someone Is SLeeping.

 

 

Never KISS a lady police

Never KISS a lady police,

She will say, hands up.

 

Never KISS a lady doctor,

She will say, Next please

 

Always KISS a lady teacher,

She will say, repeat it 5 time

 

 

How you control your anger

Father to son:

whenever i beat you,

you dont get annoyed,

how you control your anger?

 

son: i start cleaning the toilet

seat with your toothbrush

 

 

What is a girl friend?

What is a girl friend?

 

Addition of problems,

subtraction of money,

multiplication of enemies

&

division of friends.

 

 

I want to share all your worries

Girl: When we get married,

I want to share all your worries,

troubles and lighten your burden.

 

Boy: It’s very kind of you,

darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.

 

Girl: Well that is because we aren’t married yet.

 

 

A girl & boy were sitting alone

A girl & boy were sitting alone,

that boy started touching de girl,

 

Girl : dont touch me, all this only after marriage.

 

Boy : ok call me when u r married.

 

 

In art gallery couple sees picture of a girl

In art gallery couple sees

picture of a girl covered by leaf.

Husband keeps watching.

 

Wife: ab chalo gay ya PAT JHARR

ka intezar kertay raho gay.

 

 

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST.

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,

is HONEST.

A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,

is WISE.

A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,

is a HUSBAND.!

 

 

I am only a cartoonist

If I was an artist,

you would be my picture!

If I was a poet,

you would be my inspiration!

If I was an author you would be my story!

 

But I’m only a cartoonist!

 

 

Difference between a woman and a magnet

What is the difference between

a woman and a magnet?

 

Magnets have a positive side!

 

 

Full form of maths

Full form of maths

 

M=mentally

A=admited

T=teacher

H=harassing

S=students