Santa Banta SMS...

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

 

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.

Banta Singh : Ok

Interviewer : Made in India

Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan

Interviewer : Good… Keep it Up

Banta Singh : Bad…. Put it Down

Interviewer : Maxi Mum

Banta Singh : Mini Dad

Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat

Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don’t take my seat

Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat

Banta Singh : Clever! Don’t take my seat

Interviewer : I say you get out!

Banta Singh : You didn’t say I come in

Interviewer : I reject you!

Banta Singh : You appoint me

 

 

I will never marry in my life

Banta ask santa: what will you

advise your children about marriage?

 

Santa declares: I’ll never marry in my life and

I’ll give same advice to my children also.

 

 

Santa goes 2 a Petrol Pump

Santa goes 2 a Petrol Pump

sees a board Don”t use Mobile Here,

he Picks his Mobile Phone,

Calls everyone from his phone

& says DON”T CALL ME NOW.

 

 

Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks,

‘Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?’

 

‘Haan’ replies shopowner.

Santa Singh says, ‘Ek hara vala dena!’

 

 

Santa throw the butter out of the window?

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?

A: He wanted to see butterfly!

 

 

What comes first the chicken or the egg ?

Santa found answer to the

most difficult question ever-

What comes first the chicken or the egg ?

O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega !

 

 

Santa was drawing money from ATM.

Santa was drawing money from ATM.

Banta, who was just behind him in

the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.

Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.

 

 

What should I write against mother tongue

Pappu while filling up a form:

What should I write against mother tongue.?

Santa: Very long…..!

 

 

Tumhari galat fahami hai

Jeeto: Kal raat um mujhey neend main gaaliyan day rahay thay?

Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.

Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?

Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.

 

 

Kissing ur wife in ur home…

A man to Santa:

Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.

Santa rushes home and came back within

half an hour and slapped the man

and said:

“He’s not my friend.”

 

 

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.

Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?

Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

 

 

It’s only with a female

American: In our country ,

marriage even takes place with email.

 

Santa: In India, it is only with a female

 

 

Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao

Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao,

usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.

Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan…

 

 

A Chini was in hospital.

A Chini was in hospital.

SANTA went to meet him.

Chini said “CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA” & died.

SANTA went china 2 know the meaning,

that was:-

KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha.

 

 

LIPTON di chah hai?

A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?

Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja…!

 

 

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,

Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.

Lady calls again, Santa replies,

I’m coming daily since 4 days,

I press the bell but no one comes out.

 

 

Santa and his wife in office

Santa apni biwi k office gaya

to usne dekha k uski biwi

boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.

 

Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna

jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.

 

 

What a shot you made - santa singh

An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.

Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls.

 

Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, “what a shot you made!”

 

 

Dont carry umbrella during rain

Bantas advise:-

Dont carry umbrella during rain

Keep WHISPER on ur head

ye ghanto tak geelepan

ka ahsas nahi hone deta:D

 

 

Santa & Mathematical conversion

Maths Teacher Was Teaching

Mathematical Conversions

 

Teacher-If

1000 Kgs= Ton.

Then

 

For 3000 Kgs

=How Much?

 

Santa-

Ton!Ton!Ton!

 

 

Cut workload by 50%

Salesman:This computer will

cut your workload by 50%.

 

Santa:That is great,

I will take two of them:p

 

 

Because married men are more obedient.

Banta owned a factory.

He issued orders that only married

men would be employed.

Friend asks: Why this ?

 

Bant reply:

Because married men are more obedient.

 

 

Taklu rooz saloon kion jata hay ?

Santa taklu He

phir bhi roz saloon jata hay,

Why ???

 

Kion k

 

 

T.V kion nahin lay gaya ?

Santa Police se:

Kal rat chor mere ghar se

TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye

 

Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??

 

Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..

 

 

Santa k ghar main talaab ka pani

1 banda bhahta howa aata hay

aur Santa se kehta hai

bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main

talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.

 

Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,

ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay:D:D

 

 

Thats a lucky match stick

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didnt light.

 

He tried another, It didnt light too. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.

 

“What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?” asked the another man.

 

Santa replied, “Thats a lucky match stick. Ill use it again.”

 

 

U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Preeto 2 maid:

Oh Kanta, I have reason 2 suspect that

Banta is having an affair with his secretary.

 

Kanta: I don’t believe it!

U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

 

 

Yeh to aam ka pair hai.

Banta pair pey charha to upar baithey

Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?

Banta: Apple khane.

Bandar: Yeh to aam ka pair hai.

Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

 

 

Titanic was sinking.

Titanic was sinking.

An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?

Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.

Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?

Santa: Downwards

 

 

Banta to his new bride

Banta to his new bride, Preeto,

“Now that we are married,

do you think you will be able

to live on my small income?”

 

“Of course, dear, no trouble,” she replied.

“But what will you live on?”

 

 

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.

Wo udas ho gaya.

 

Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?

Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.