Misc SMS Jokes...

D¡l ka sab se bara connection

D¡l ka sab se bara connection

kiss k sath hota hai?

?

Apko to pata

hona chahiye

?

Poket sayyyyy

Wo kia cheez hay

Wo kia cheez hay

Jo biwi apnay husband ko sari umar nahi deti

Bar bar magney per bhi nain deti.

Aur yeh illegal bhi nain hy??

.

Guess??

?

Come on yar?

?

Sakoon

The most romantic country of the world..?

The most romantic country of the world..?

.

guess!

.

O yes! it’s Pakistan

u know y?

?

har raat candle light dinner

(thanks to kesc)

7 aur 7 kitne hon ge?

Teacher: agar 1 aur 1 2 hote hain

aur 2 aur 2 4 hote hain

aur 3 aur 3 6 hote hain

phir 7 aur 7 kitne hon ge?

Student: sir,

asaan wale ap ne khud hal kar liye

aur mushkil wala mere liye chor diya:p

Chum Cham Cham . . . .

Chum Cham Cham . . . .

Musharraf ki chhaliya

Nawaz Shareef ka paan

Chal mere Zardari Liaqat Bagh,

Liaqat Bagh ki pehli gali

Benazir ko goli lagi

Sari dunya roney lagi

Rotey rotey bhook lagi

Hmare Mulk mein Atta nhi

Gillani tmhare nana nhi

Shaukat Aziz gae DILLI

DILLI se lae Billi

Billi ne diye 2 bache Allah miyan sache

Schey schey jaenge OBAMA ki Dulhan laenge

OBAMA ki Dulhan kaali 100 nakhron waali

1 nakhra toot gaya

Humara mulk doob Gaya:(

Sheikh ki beti ka operation

Ek sheikh ki beti ka operation hua

Doctor ne kaha pathri nikli hai

Sheikh bola lao mujhay do

Doctor ne kaha woh kya karo gay

Sheikh bola itni mehngi mili hai bechoon ga.

Happy January..!

The first gush of chilly winds!

The familiar anticipation of long walks!

cold nose, numb feet, warm breaths!

The fog!

The vermillion tree leaves!

Oranges, Coffee, Friends!

“The best is yet to come”

Thats the message winters bear..

So make lasting memories..!

Happy January !

Dr. Main patla hona chahta hun

Fat man: Dr. Main patla hona chahta hun

Dr.: tum rotiyan kitni khate ho?

Man: 12

Dr.: aj se tm 4 roti khao ge.

Man: in ko bad me khana hai k pehle

Santa & Mathematical conversion

Maths Teacher Was Teaching

Mathematical Conversions

Teacher-If

1000 Kgs= Ton.

Then

For 3000 Kgs

=How Much?

Santa-

Ton!Ton!Ton!

9 0 per 1 mahajir

Nine zero pe 1

Muhajir gun le kr khara

Hogaya . Jo b wahan se

Guzarta

Us se poochta: tum kon?

Man : pathan

Muhajir shot

Dhuzzzz

Muhajir: tum kon ?

Man : baloch

Dhuzzzzz

Muhajir: tum kon ?

Khusra : tera baap

Muhajir : jao yaar

Apno ko konmaray …

Guiness Book Of World Record

Guiness Book Of World Record

Aik Pakistani Ne Kal 24 Ghanton

Tak Pani Me Saans Band Kr K Naya

Record Qaim Kiya

.

” Janaza Aaj 4 Bajay Hai ”

Best way to release office stress

The best way to

release office stress is

To put your head on

the table, snooze,

yawn and say loud

.

“Bhaar Main Jaye Company …”:D

Wazarat-e-bijli nay load shedding…

Breaking news by Geo :

Wazarat e bijli nay load shedding

Khatam karnay ka elaan… ”

Sorry,

Abhi itna he suna tha

K light chali gai .

Difference between radio & newspaper

Do u know what is difference

Between radio and akhbar?

.

Simple

.

Akhbaar me hum rotyaan bech sakte

and radio mai nahin :p

Band hotel huey pathanon k

Raks kerti hy gardish-e-dauran

Dar khuley hyn sharab khano’n k

Chai peeney ko ab kahan jaye’n

Band hotel huey pathano’n k :p

Corporate Lessons

Corporate Lessons

“We will do it”

Means

“U will do it.”

“U have done a great job”

Means

“More work will be given to u.”

“We r a team”

Means

“I am not the only one to be blamed.”

“That is a good question”

Means

“I do not know anything about it.”

“All the best ”

Means

“U r in trouble.”

Zara dholki bjao gorioo

Adnan sami ko indian girls ne

mehndi k moqa per khoob bjaya

.

Beco-z

.

He sang a song

.

“zara dholki bjao gorioo”

Law Of Reverse Dynamics

Law Of Reverse Dynamics:

When A Man Becomes Rich

He Becomes Naughty &

When A Woman Becomes Naughty.

She Becomes Rich…

Cricket ground, girlfriends & players

Hamari life bhi cricket ground hai or hum players.

Jo 1st time larki k saath pakra jaye

“knock out” Hota hai,

Jo g.f ko milnay ja raha ho rastay me accident hojaye,

“run out”

Jo g.f ki deewar phlangtay huay pakra jaye,

“catch out”

G.f k bhai mar mar kr tangain tor dain

“lbw out”

Ap ka dost ap ko larki ban kr bewaqoof bnaye,

“stamp out”

Or kuch pedaishi “clean bold”

Hotay hain.

Ye log sirf taalian bja kr guzara krtay hain.

Pathan’s wife bought sweater

Pathan’s wife bought a

Beautiful sweater for her husband…

She sent it to him by parcel

Along with a note … That said

“the buttons of d sweater r removed

Since they were too heavy & added

To the postage. U’ll find ‘em

In d right hand pocket of the sweater”

Balti bhar roh-e-afza

Bus itna he kaha tha k Barson k Piyasay hain PaPpU,

Balti bhar k us zalim ne ROH’AFZA bana diya…

Meri qismat zardari jaisi kahan?

Wife : Tum tou chahty

ho k main mar jaon aur

meri tamam cheezai’n

tumhari ho jaye’n …

Husband : Meri kismat

ZARDARI jesi kahan???

Thoughts On Men

Thoughts On Men

Women Are Programmed To Love Completely,

And Men Are Programmed To Spread It Around.

Meet In RAJASTAN…

Meet In RAJASTAN,

Love In HINDUSTAN Marrage In DEVASTAN,

Take Honymoon In AFGANISTAN,

But Dont Bring Ur Population 2 Our Pakistan

Airport per kharey hain 10 jahaz

Arz kiya hai

Airport per kharey hain 10 jahaz

.

Airport per kharey hain 10 jahaz

jin may sey aik ka pilot hai Faraz :D:P

Har larki per nazar ;)

Ek larki kisi k saath bhaag gai

Ek larki ko kuch ghunday utha kr le gaye

Ek larki apne shohar se larne k baad apne ghar aa gai

Ek larki apni saas k haatho’n zulm ka nishana bani

Ek larki chhat se giri aur usay kafi chotai’n aai

Express news: har larki per nazar;)

Roll number kion nazar nahi aaraha

Ek larka dr sy lagta hai ma andha ho gya hon

Dr. nay uski ankhon ko check kia

Or kha nahi beta tmhari ankhein tu theek hain.

Larka. Tu phr newspaper me

Mujhy maira roll num kyun nazar nahi aa rha ?

New mobile lia hay

Maine naya mobile liya hay jis me

usb

infrared

blue tooth

double camera

touch screen

mp3 player

8 GB memory

kuch bhi nahin hay:p

Muqabla mumkin hay

Agar aap me or gadhe me

english speaking ka muqabla ho jaye

to kon jitega?

?

Jeete jo marzi

par ab ye baat to tay hai k muqabla mumkin hay

Y r u praying in classroom?

In class room 1 boy was praying Allah Allah.

Teacher: y r u praying in classroom?

Boy: Mom advised me that

before sleeping u must pray Allah Allah

Her bhikar k hath me mobile

Kya aap Jante he ki

“Dheeru Bhai Ambani”

ka akhri sapna kya tha

?

ki har bhikari ke hath me mobile ho,

or aaj tumne vo sapna pura kr Diya

If u have any problem

If u have any problem

Mujhy batao

I’ll help u (:

If u don’t hve any

Problem !

Tab bhi

Mujhy batao

.

I’ll create problem

.

Aakhir dost hoty kis

Liye hain …

Negative answer

By expecting a negative answer,

Girlfriend ask “Have u ever cheated, lie, broken promise?”

To satisfy his girl,

the boy reply a negative answer:

“Nothing of these, I haven’t done.”

Mansha Handsome

Hasna Ohna di Aadat C

Aasi galat Andaja la Bethe

Oh hasde hasde vasde rehe

Te aasi apna aap gua Bethe.

Drive merceded, go 2 swizterland

if u want to drive “Mercedez”

‘

& wish 2go2 switzerland,

& like to stay in 5 star hotel,

then visit our website

www.apni ouqat mai raho.com

Tum to sab ki nani ho

Main payasa hon or tum pani ho,

main kalam hon or tum kahani ho,

jab pocha gali k bacho say,

to pata chala k tum to sab ki nani ho,

Ek larki chali ja rahi thi

Ek larki chali ja rahi thi.

Ek larkay ne awaz di o deewani sun

tera dupata zameen say ghaseeta jar aha hai.

Larki boli o deewanay tu kia janay?

Ye bhi apna farz nibha raha hay

koi choom na lay meray qadmoo ki mitti ko

isi liye nishaan mitata ja raha hai.

Oh shitt.. jal gaya:p

What was GOD’s First Reaction

when he made a Negro(African)?

Socho…

Dont know..

Oh! shit jal gaya!!

Kon ziyadah khobsorut hay

Professor:

Tum 20 saal ki larki

Su shaadi kroge ya

Apne sy 20 saal bari say … ?

Student:

Sir ! Depend karta hy k

Kon khoobsurat hay !

Aap ki beti ya aap ki biwi

nur machli ya mada

aquarium mai 2 fishes teir rahi hain

ab batao un mai se nur kon aur mada kon?

.

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My name is Sunlight.

Teacher:”What is your name?”.

Student:”Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.”

Teacher:”When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english.”

Student:”My name is Sunlight.”

God help !!

You can’t tap your back for a job well done.

You can’t hug yourself for comfort.

You can’t cry on your shoulders when tears fall.

That’s why you have GOD in your life,

to let Him do whatever you can’t.

Missed SMS

.

Message dhoond rahay ho?

zaroori nahi k har SMS main koi msg ko,

BASS…AAP ki yaad ayii,

is liyai missed SMS ker diya..

Zindagi k her qadam pe FRIEND HO

Kal ho “AAJ” jaisa,

Mahal ho “TAJ” Jaisa,

Phool ho “GULAB” jaisa,

or Zindagi k her qadam pe FRIEND HO

?

excuse me ?

?

hellO

.

Friend ho ?

.

Mujh jaisa (H):p

1 chinese bacha apnay Pakistani dost se

1 chinese bacha apnay Pakistani dost se:

yaar merey father ka inteqal ho gaya hai,

Pakistani:

Abay yaar,

China ki chizon mein yehi masla hai..!

Jaa tu mera bhai hai

Maine kaha dilruba,

Usne kaha paise dikha,

Maine kaha paise nahi,

Usne kaha aise nahi,

Maine kaha mehengai hai,

Usne kaha ja tu mera bhai hai.

SMS receive karnay k charges hotay to..?

Socho Ager SMS receive kernay

k paise lagte tou kia hota?

guess?

Aaj Aap meri Waja se road

per bheek mangrahay hotay.

Shadi ka wada kia Perveen se

Shadi ka wada kia Perveen se,

Warna mohabbat to thi Nasreen se,

Anjane men sab kehdia Mehreen se,

Kia haal hua tha pocho Samreen se,

Ab umeed hai sirf Noreen se,

Lekin baat banegi Sabreen se,

Ya phir dekho Ambreen se,

Nahi to shayed Nosheen se,

Or hosakta hai k Zareen se,

Warna setting to hai hi Farheen se:p:d:-)

Positive thinking poem

Positive-thinking poem:

Little bird in the sky

Droping shit into ur eye

U don’t worry u don’t cry,

U just thank God that,

Cows do not fly

Always b positive

I’ve changed my mind!

Sam: I Have Changed My Mind.

Ali : Good

So Does This One Work Better?

Boy friends / girl friends ad mobile networks

Boy friend,Girl friend Sim Conection K Hisab Se

Jazz B/F:Hello Darling

Larki:Or Sunao

UFone B/F:Kia Tmhre Dil Me,Me Hun

Larki:Tum Hi To Ho

Zong B/F:Tmhe Chand Kahun Phul Kahun

Larki:Sub Keh Do

Telenor B/F:Kya Hr Larki Bewfa Hy

Larki:Yhi Hy Dhun Sb Ki

Warid B/F Tmne Acha Nhi Kra.

Larki:Dekha Kya Hota Hy When U Zem It.

Isi lie to jannat kehte hain

Wife:Suna he k jannat me husband

k sath Wife ko nahi rehne dete

HUSBAND! sahi suna he,

Wife: aisa kion?

Husband: Arey pagli isi liye to

usey jannat kehte hain

Ab bush k baad OBAMA

Ab “BUSH” Ke Bad “OBAMA”

Zara Sambhal Ke Rahkna Qadam IRAQ Me “OBAMA”

“BUSH” KO Pare Hain Jutay Tera To Utar Dainge “PEJAMA”.

Happy fog day

Ye SMS blank nahi he.

Apko dhund ki wja se wrds nazr nai a rahe…

Happy fog day