Last chance to run away

Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the
bridegroom made to sit on the horse?

A: He is given his last chance to
run away…!!
 

    A Blind wife and a deaf husband.

A good marriage would be between
a Blind wife and a deaf husband.
Michel de Montaigne

    Before marriage & after marriage

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom upwards!!!
 

    Telling a lie

Telling a lie is
Fault 4 a little boy
an Art 4 a lover
an Accomplishment 4 a bachelor
and a Matter of survival 4 a married man

 

    Shadi kernay aur mobile kharidnay

Shadi kernay aur mobile
kharidnay k baad aik hi baat
ka afsos hota hay kaash
thori dair aur ruk jaatay
to acha model mil jata.:p
 

    LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.

It’s funny when people discuss
LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.

It’s like asking someone,
if suicide is better or being murdered

    When a man holds a woman hands?

“When a man holds a woman hands?”

When a man holds a woman’s hand
before marriage, it is love;

after marriage it is self-defense

 

    Man before Marriage is like Airtel

Man before Marriage is like Airtel….
“Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan”

After Marriage He’s Like Hutch…
“Whereever U Go Our Network Follows.”

    What is marriage?

What is Marriage?
Ans:
1 year:-Alpenlibe-Ji lalchaye raha Na Jaye.
2 year:- KINETIC-Sab ki hawa Nikal de.
3 year:-CHLORMINT- DOBARA MAT PUCHNA…..
 

    Advertisement of wife wanted

One day a man inserted
an ‘advertisement’ in the
local classifieds: “Wife wanted”.

Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
 

    Cost to get married

A little kid asks his Dad,
“Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?”

“No idea,” replied the Father,
“I’m still paying for it…”

    Last two words in yes dear

Grooms, once you marry,
please remember that when
you have a discussion
with your future wife,
always try to get the
last two words in: “Yes dear”

    Some people ask the secret of our long marriage

Some people ask the secret
of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant
two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
and dancing.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

    Marriage is like going to a restaurant

Marriage is like going to
a restaurant your choice
from the menu,
And
then look at neighbourin
table n wish you”d ordered that…..
 

    Why do we all marry?

Why do we all marry?
Because romance is not
the only element of life.
We should also know horror,
terror, suspense, irony,
stupidity & tragedy of LIFE.
 

    First marriage is the triumph of

First marriage is the triumph of
imagination over intelligence.

Second marriage is the
triumph of hope over experience
 

 

    The Equation of Marriage

The Equation of Marriage:

7 Glance = 1 Smile

7 Smile = 1 Meeting

7 Meeting = 1 Kiss

7 Kisses = 1 Proposal

7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -

And that 1 marriage has 77777+ problems.

So beware of glance!

 

    Marriage is made of trust & understanding

What a married man says after years of marriage:- My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding, she doesn’t Trust me & I dont Understand her.
 

    Definition of most successful married life

Most successful
Happy married life is
Defined as.
.
.
.
.
“Yet to be seen”
 

    A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST.

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!

 

    Difference between boyfriend and husband

Boy friend is fun,
&
Husband is gun,

Boy friend is light of moon,
&
Husband is month of june,

Boy friend is tooty fruity,
&
Husband is qismat phooti.
 

    If marriages are made in heaven

Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
than what are made in Hell?

Answer: The days after marriage!
 

    Before & after marriage

Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,
 

    Because married men are more obedient.

Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.
 

    Only true friends stand by u

Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.
 

    Remember your wife birthday

The most effective
way 2 remember
ur wife’s birthday
is 2 forget it once.

    What was the first thing

Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke that morning?”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”

Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”
 

    allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women

Why Government do NOT
allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

Because per Constitution,
you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE
for the same Mistake.
 

    Before and after marriage

Before Marriage:-

He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!

After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top
 

    Man needs a poison

Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that

Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.
 

    True relatives always stand behind u

True relatives always
stand behind u during bad times.

Check ur marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!
 

    I was a fool when I married you.

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.

 

    Thought of long life

Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.

Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.

 

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